The transition phase could alwayz be tough for a human being....be it from a kid to teens,to adolescence to adulthood ( haven't reached that far yet). Sumbody once said you are as young as you feel deep inside... Me alwayz used to ponder bout dat one... but never did get the answer to “ Why.?!”.
The toughest I would say is the time when you go from being a graduate or a PG'ite to a professional ...haven't worried bout it till today...as usual uncertain bout it the future...but who wants to think.?!Live it for the next damn second... if you can...i.e.!!
Went to school, a typical nice sweet lil life... of course cheap thrills never left space for remorse...Straight from that very wheel of warp...ppl do feel “ Damn.! What am I goin to do wid it (life) this time?!..lol
When you do enroll into college..the fear of “What it'd look like” is alwayz there... but I could proudly say one thing....till this date...College Rocked for bout 10years to be precise right now...lol....loving this organization nd gonna miss it ( my partners in crime)..
The city truly never gave nethin back to me nor the professionalism in the Enterprise that I looked for did...but...the people...the emotions.... the kind of space & freedom & experiences & the relations& the insanity of the sanctity of work & the ethics of humanity & the absoluteness of being oneself & the pure emotion of equality & the bluntness & the openness & HUMANS.... would def give any other enterprise a run for its money..coz here, everything just works on the basis of trust, space, humanity & love for existence.
I'd say kudos to the human who put forth the idea “ It's not the place, but the people that make this earth worth living “...and to think that I'm gonna be throwing all this away in just bout a week and a half pinches me... coz me gotta accept the very fact that “ Padam isnt gonna be called Padam anymore”... more names but nothin would mean as much as “ Padam”... This is one of my assumptions which I'm sure for the first time in my life that I's gonna bloody feel like “ I hope sumbody would address me the same”... sumday.!!
But then again tonight, I console myself saying... ain't the world just a sphere flattened at the poles & boy I'm just an STD code away....lol. I definitely am gonna miss the greenery for sure.
The Enterprise .... I wouldn't say never gave me that I was lookin for... or did actually give me exactly what I was lookin for... Probably a manufacturing defect... or I wasn't sure of what I was lookin for or even more than probably I was born indecisive...lol.
Ask me to plan something & I'd wash my hands clean of it coz frankly speakin I can go with the flow but creatin the flow isn't my piece of cake....hehehehe
Comin to being the professional, I guess the incident that outdid me was being stuck in one place for over a year for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
But as I'd heard sumplace... “ The show must go on!!”.. I wouldn't say “ I'm not scared but still excited” to go to the new place ( hometown ,,,,but my profile jus took a 360 )...lol... Uncertainty sounds good... but for one time in my life I feel deep down within...my past is gonna keep my spirits up.!
Finding solace in jus a couple of words isn't convincing enough.... “ Technically not feasible” was the mantra at one point of time until I realized “ Nothing is impossible” & I picked it... got screwed.... but enjoyed every moment of that very technology that I'd have to live with at least for a quarter of my life.
And here is a human who at the age of 25 thought that there was just one definition for love bifurcating into millions of atoms just to find out love is pure.... nd its just not one.... it is like an entire new variation of the Rainbow.... VIBGYOR I'd learnt as a kid but I'd say with the rainbow of life that I'd decipher VIBGYOR would be just the primary colours... Mix em up & you'd get shades you haven't dreamed of ever..!!!
Me sounding lame already huh.?!.. As alwayz...the source for this piece of thing that one of my buddies would question as “ What were you stoning on?!”..is unknown...lol
A professional degree is essential...a preconceived notion... but I'd say your first experience with the pawns of the industry is what actually moulds your soul to face the rest of the globe & boy I've had one heck of soul searching in my present organization.... just too cool.. And the kind of support that your peers offer is unparalleled .
Getting a feel of the street smart world is sumthing I carved outta college but carrying it all thru till the end of this little epic that I had in “ God's Own Country”.. nd took me through all the north, the south, the very subcontinent the world addresses.
Today I can proudly say that I have the confidence to face even a top official in an organization & speak to him without the fear of me being just an insignificant pair of dice in a decider.!
Listen to what life has to offer, dream of tomorrow, live for today.... last for the next second...breathe now... enjoy history.. economics were for the presidents..geography was for dreamers & I lived today... looking for tomorrow & my journey streams on.!! Till next time...!!
CheerS!!
Ajay Padattil
28/05/2010
