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Tuesday 11 January 2011

To You Guys!!

When the dreams come to cease
When the stars come to dream

When I said you were perfect I wasn't
When I said your life dreamt it wasn't me

When this pen could probably stop writin
When me & you would cease to exist

When me & bhau get together
When A-24 was a dream

Whn you & me live
I'd like that glitch
& you are just there

Ajay Padattil
...... infinity!!

Sunday 3 October 2010

The Ones I Loved…!!

As I would like to summarize my life in just two words….there is still an uncertainty to this very fact that I actually should..!!

Wouldn’t mean much at dis point in life but the very fact that time runs on and heaps of dust just doesn’t gather too much light still kind of seems a mystery…

The past & the present do go hand in hand & I agree to the very last bit that it does, but what do humans seek in time & beyond still lacks a true symphony…

Till the very last minute you do hope something arrives & it probably does….do you seem to be excited or more than just trust this sanctuary…

This is it was never meant to be a poem in the first place but rather a horn sounded to mankind to bring out the beast within so damn slowly…

This whole stanza didn’t start out as a poem to begin with but did end up as lines of a simile which I suppose I would decipher individually…

Looooooong time used to scream my lungs out so whole heartedly…it seems they have lost their power…

But the ones I truly loved…. Where you at.?!!

Ajay Padattil
03/10/2010

Wednesday 7 July 2010

The Bus..!!

Be it any class of a bus ride, I’ve always been fascinated with the very idea of the millions of faces you meet on em & the mannerisms you get to witness.

Right from the first bus that took me to the nursery I was enrolled in…..to the public transport… to my school bus & the latest being the bus I travel to my workplace in. All different shapes and sizes & colours so vivid that it gets your imagination runnin… both the passengers & the vehicles….lol

I remember in nursery there used to be this real naughty kid with a handkerchief dangling from his right pocket, typically pink with a few flowers adorning the borders. He never seemed to have his bottom side affixed to one particular seat in the vehicle, he seemed to have roller blades attached to his back…..Shakespeare would term it as obnoxiously Restless….lol…

And you reach your nursery…. Everybody shoving to get off & still some people living their dream not ready to accept that it is another day of discipline rather than fun…… that continues to this very day though… coz I was one of em in every aspect… I wonder if I had skates attached to my neck though….lol

Then there was the school bus where initially we were dressed smart in or whit & greys with a tie hangin like a noose around the neck, again living that very dream we were referring to a earlier..lol… But I always looked up in awe and excitement to those smart dudes in grey & grey christening them as seniors & wondered how would their shoes feel to be put into.(Only dudes coz we had a shift system..Boy the assembly time in school was hilarious..lol )

The driver of the bus was a sweetheart nevertheless… he was sumbody all kids would look up2 as a human being. Having lunch in a hurry ( My Mom used to fed me for a realllllllllly long time coz I was absolutely in love with the concept of eating you see…lol) … putting on your shoes…..managing to forget one book off your timetable… looking forward to the games period ( where we have almost 10 teams playing on the same football field…lol ) …waiting for the recess bell… savouring every moment of the aluminium cricket ball etc….. And this went on all the way from the 1st grade to the 12th grade ( Yep!!.... I was in the same school).

I almost forgot the bus I was to talk bout… initially it woz white in colour ( Non A/c) & evolved into a cassata ice cream coloured A/c bus at the end of my tenure as a senior in school. We always had a gang of people who were there all through my senior part of school.

Thru school , the characters & the mannerisms of all of us was almost the same….. the same age group & thought alike… all spoilt brats..hahaha.. All of us wondering when we would get ourselves promoted from white & grey to grey & grey ( As a kid though it was more white & blue)… What shall I say.. School Revamped…lol!!

During college though… the only bus I did travel in was the public transport. And now there start the mannerisms & characters & faces that I thought of writing about. The faces I must say varies from a really angry face to a face that could brighten up your morning. Characters vary from silent & sober to really noisy & irritating. Mannerisms range from real cute baby gestures to people struggling to survive.

The transaction of the ticket in a bus does bring most of these features to light. You might have a person who’d be shouting at the top of his voice coz he got into the wrong bus & the conductor issued him a wrong ticket…beat that…lol.

You have many other who realize its their mistake & opt to silently walk out when the closest bus stop arrives. Still others who are speaking to their neighbours as if they have known him/her before the Big Bang theory occurred. Many of them stuffing themselves into the bus even when the place for a needle to be pushed in would be a luxury … People hanging onto a bar on the footboard & speaking on their cell phones as if they were lying on a beach with a beer in their left hand … lol … But I always used to admire babies who are way away from all these emotions… I believe their reactions are more binary like… either you laugh or you cry .. That’s wot I call pure bliss.

And these buses I’d say would be something as ancient as the Himalayas probably…. A 0 percent guarantee that you would reach your destination in the speculated time or even an hour after… coz the probability of a breakdown is high.. lol.. They were red in colour initially though a couple of stripes in yellow & black were add ons at a later point in time…. PMT Revamped..!!

The most prominent feature of the office bus is SLEEP… a blissful one hour of cramped up but heavenly sleep early in the morning…lol..

Waking up a little late…. Hurrying through with your morning routines… having breakfast as if you’ve never seen edible stuff before…. Running down… watching school kids waiting for their buses (prominent green uniforms) …walking towards the bus to find fellow colleagues waiting for the Blue striped white bus or shall I say White striped blue bus (very confusing) with a printout(people call that a board) specifying SUS rd on it, waiting for everyone to board it.

We have the head of travel… without whom the bus wouldn’t move an inch… mine’s the first pickup on the route. It then proceeds to the next stop picking up people with a vivid sense of colours to dress themselves up. But overall it goes through about 8 to 10 stops all over the city before it hits the highway.

Here you have people who speak for a while, say bout 10-15 mins to your neighbours and immediately retire into “ Nidra” …blissful…lol ( I am one of em…. “ Not used to wakin up so early” …. Is the primary cause for this pleasurable experience…lol ) … Then you have people who feel reading a book with good music to soothen their morning is a gud entertainer…you still have more people who believe good music will see them through a torturous one hour roller coaster… then there are others cursing fate for giving them a laptop to work on & carry. The way people search for seats as soon as they board the bus is a sight worth witnessing…. Then the final set would be people who have been sitting close to each other for years now but haven’t spoken a word… lol!!

When you leave for the day you have to literally search for the bus that would reach you back home. The 18:00 bus is okie… coz you’l get home in a jiffy (One hour).. The 19:00 bus takes you on a city tour with the traffic of another IT park cutting of the roads. There’s another one at 20:00… which I haven’t had the luck of experiencing. The 18:00 is white in colour with a green board. The 19:00 is the confusing blue & white.

The main agenda for the evenings too is blissful “ Nidra”.. lol the routes are different but I must say very well organized for an organization encompassing a figure of close to 2000 employees in the middle of nowhere.

I always wonder as to how everything comes around a whole full circle! From the colour white … From being a school kid waiting for the bus to watching kids waiting when u still are going to catch the vehicle. Experiences like this BUS I’m sure are many more & would be awesome to Rewind… Play… Stop… Play…. & it goes on!!

CheerS!!

Ajay Padattil
06/07/2010

After A While..!!

When you do live life a bit outta the normal
Why would you sip on sacrifice as outta dimal

Winning tones would still carry a bicycle
Wasting times slam a stamp of Popsicle

Whistlin by still seems the hands of time
Whalin life would be the slimes of time

When I would foresee the whims of symphony
Whoa!! I’d still name my stern cacophony

Whilst my mood my Mom says yeah!!
Withering spirits would still say nyyyy!!

Wounded & Down would this night be!!
While away time I think we will tally!!

Ajay Padattil
19/06/2010

Friday 28 May 2010

The Journey..!!

The transition phase could alwayz be tough for a human being....be it from a kid to teens,to adolescence to adulthood ( haven't reached that far yet). Sumbody once said you are as young as you feel deep inside... Me alwayz used to ponder bout dat one... but never did get the answer to “ Why.?!”.

The toughest I would say is the time when you go from being a graduate or a PG'ite to a professional ...haven't worried bout it till today...as usual uncertain bout it the future...but who wants to think.?!Live it for the next damn second... if you can...i.e.!!

Went to school, a typical nice sweet lil life... of course cheap thrills never left space for remorse...Straight from that very wheel of warp...ppl do feel “ Damn.! What am I goin to do wid it (life) this time?!..lol

When you do enroll into college..the fear of “What it'd look like” is alwayz there... but I could proudly say one thing....till this date...College Rocked for bout 10years to be precise right now...lol....loving this organization nd gonna miss it ( my partners in crime)..

The city truly never gave nethin back to me nor the professionalism in the Enterprise that I looked for did...but...the people...the emotions.... the kind of space & freedom & experiences & the relations& the insanity of the sanctity of work & the ethics of humanity & the absoluteness of being oneself & the pure emotion of equality & the bluntness & the openness & HUMANS.... would def give any other enterprise a run for its money..coz here, everything just works on the basis of trust, space, humanity & love for existence.

I'd say kudos to the human who put forth the idea “ It's not the place, but the people that make this earth worth living “...and to think that I'm gonna be throwing all this away in just bout a week and a half pinches me... coz me gotta accept the very fact that “ Padam isnt gonna be called Padam anymore”... more names but nothin would mean as much as “ Padam”... This is one of my assumptions which I'm sure for the first time in my life that I's gonna bloody feel like “ I hope sumbody would address me the same”... sumday.!!

But then again tonight, I console myself saying... ain't the world just a sphere flattened at the poles & boy I'm just an STD code away....lol. I definitely am gonna miss the greenery for sure.

The Enterprise .... I wouldn't say never gave me that I was lookin for... or did actually give me exactly what I was lookin for... Probably a manufacturing defect... or I wasn't sure of what I was lookin for or even more than probably I was born indecisive...lol.

Ask me to plan something & I'd wash my hands clean of it coz frankly speakin I can go with the flow but creatin the flow isn't my piece of cake....hehehehe

Comin to being the professional, I guess the incident that outdid me was being stuck in one place for over a year for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

But as I'd heard sumplace... “ The show must go on!!”.. I wouldn't say “ I'm not scared but still excited” to go to the new place ( hometown ,,,,but my profile jus took a 360 )...lol... Uncertainty sounds good... but for one time in my life I feel deep down within...my past is gonna keep my spirits up.!

Finding solace in jus a couple of words isn't convincing enough.... “ Technically not feasible” was the mantra at one point of time until I realized “ Nothing is impossible” & I picked it... got screwed.... but enjoyed every moment of that very technology that I'd have to live with at least for a quarter of my life.

And here is a human who at the age of 25 thought that there was just one definition for love bifurcating into millions of atoms just to find out love is pure.... nd its just not one.... it is like an entire new variation of the Rainbow.... VIBGYOR I'd learnt as a kid but I'd say with the rainbow of life that I'd decipher VIBGYOR would be just the primary colours... Mix em up & you'd get shades you haven't dreamed of ever..!!!

Me sounding lame already huh.?!.. As alwayz...the source for this piece of thing that one of my buddies would question as “ What were you stoning on?!”..is unknown...lol

A professional degree is essential...a preconceived notion... but I'd say your first experience with the pawns of the industry is what actually moulds your soul to face the rest of the globe & boy I've had one heck of soul searching in my present organization.... just too cool.. And the kind of support that your peers offer is unparalleled .

Getting a feel of the street smart world is sumthing I carved outta college but carrying it all thru till the end of this little epic that I had in “ God's Own Country”.. nd took me through all the north, the south, the very subcontinent the world addresses.

Today I can proudly say that I have the confidence to face even a top official in an organization & speak to him without the fear of me being just an insignificant pair of dice in a decider.!

Listen to what life has to offer, dream of tomorrow, live for today.... last for the next second...breathe now... enjoy history.. economics were for the presidents..geography was for dreamers & I lived today... looking for tomorrow & my journey streams on.!! Till next time...!!

CheerS!!

Ajay Padattil
28/05/2010

Thursday 20 May 2010

Screw em Up..!!

And yet another time... this title & the story behind this one was inspired. You don't have to guess dis one... Kovalam... beer...pubs...technical...import duties...lovely times....bengalluru...new years....my man in trivandrum & this globe is too small... an indica.... self ESTEEM...lovely idol of krishna adorning the very rooftop of this dudes house.... fashion trends...cinema...house music...trippiest of times ...& I can go on... this was my inspiration.

The title was a situation when you go out & out on something but sumthing strikes you very sorrily to stare in your face& tell you one thing....you were never a link in the chain!!

When you actually give something to an organization & u do expect it to give you sumthin in return for the first time in your life....a small thing... probably just the case of one damn day... and the organization says “ I have to think & will get back to you”...I feel lie the people I have been selling its ( pronounced “ The Organization's”) skill sets when I knew It was worth emeralds but I still could deliver Rubies.... but I dint bother with the rubies coz its my family I'm talking bout & representing here.

Today or shall I say “ Yesterday” woz the day I truly thought the saying “ No Organization Shut coz the resources quit” felt so close to my heart that I regret so much so that I have to bring out the stupid consultant in me to my organization as well. HELL!! Its best to keep personal away from business 4 damn sure..!!

Today just confirmed my worst fears of turning into a pawn in the system, when a job that I was given... put my 100% for the first time in my epic saga with this family & godmother just decided to turn the tables SAFELY!!.. Thought alwayz that there would've been a reason for this to happen.. But an entire 24 hrs couldn't convince me I was right about the reason part.

Never did wanna leave on a bad note.... and I shouldn't ...Coz I don't like the corporate part of me... coz that just isnt ME or US or WE...but I guess like Mr. Anil Kapoor says during the climax of the movie 'Nayak'.. 'Aakhir Aapne Mujhe Politician Ban Hi Diya na..?!'... True to the very last 'na'!

A journey that lasted sweet three years & I would dedicate the spirit of my living thru, these to my soulmates HAAAL, my sweethearts '12' & my 'Godmother'. Sweet Sweet experiences & stories & times... I'd cherish forever.!


Another quote that I alwayz pondered on was “ Criminals are never born, situations make them that”.. I never believed in this crap until today... just that my weapons would be denial and distrust. Revenge is never an answer to anything.

“ Screw em Up!!”.. I wish I could, would & should. But I guess when you are a famliy, you gotta forgive and forget... But again I aint GOD... nd none of us are. But me I'd say to myself... Let these times pass ,for we have the past with this ancestorial joy to live upon.!

Ajay Padattil
20/05/2010

Wednesday 14 April 2010

Astounding..!!

Drawn apart by two swords distinct
Dim seems the light that lights the crystal

Laying off things that meant the world to humans
Laggin still seems the past for one tomorrow

Listenin to instances far & narrow
Lamenting on icebergs tippin off for heat

Degrees & counting claim lives of innocence
Diminishing families still cry these prayers

Amazing would be listing melodies
Astounding scream people in the 70's

Love life & grasp these moments
Live happy & gloat this very second.!

Ajay Padattil
14/04/2010