The Journey..!!

The transition phase could alwayz be tough for a human being....be it from a kid to teens,to adolescence to adulthood ( haven't reached that far yet). Sumbody once said you are as young as you feel deep inside... Me alwayz used to ponder bout dat one... but never did get the answer to “ Why.?!”.

The toughest I would say is the time when you go from being a graduate or a PG'ite to a professional ...haven't worried bout it till today...as usual uncertain bout it the future...but who wants to think.?!Live it for the next damn second... if you can...i.e.!!

Went to school, a typical nice sweet lil life... of course cheap thrills never left space for remorse...Straight from that very wheel of warp...ppl do feel “ Damn.! What am I goin to do wid it (life) this time?!..lol

When you do enroll into college..the fear of “What it'd look like” is alwayz there... but I could proudly say one thing....till this date...College Rocked for bout 10years to be precise right now...lol....loving this organization nd gonna miss it ( my partners in crime)..

The city truly never gave nethin back to me nor the professionalism in the Enterprise that I looked for did...but...the people...the emotions.... the kind of space & freedom & experiences & the relations& the insanity of the sanctity of work & the ethics of humanity & the absoluteness of being oneself & the pure emotion of equality & the bluntness & the openness & HUMANS.... would def give any other enterprise a run for its money..coz here, everything just works on the basis of trust, space, humanity & love for existence.

I'd say kudos to the human who put forth the idea “ It's not the place, but the people that make this earth worth living “...and to think that I'm gonna be throwing all this away in just bout a week and a half pinches me... coz me gotta accept the very fact that “ Padam isnt gonna be called Padam anymore”... more names but nothin would mean as much as “ Padam”... This is one of my assumptions which I'm sure for the first time in my life that I's gonna bloody feel like “ I hope sumbody would address me the same”... sumday.!!

But then again tonight, I console myself saying... ain't the world just a sphere flattened at the poles & boy I'm just an STD code away....lol. I definitely am gonna miss the greenery for sure.

The Enterprise .... I wouldn't say never gave me that I was lookin for... or did actually give me exactly what I was lookin for... Probably a manufacturing defect... or I wasn't sure of what I was lookin for or even more than probably I was born indecisive...lol.

Ask me to plan something & I'd wash my hands clean of it coz frankly speakin I can go with the flow but creatin the flow isn't my piece of cake....hehehehe

Comin to being the professional, I guess the incident that outdid me was being stuck in one place for over a year for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

But as I'd heard sumplace... “ The show must go on!!”.. I wouldn't say “ I'm not scared but still excited” to go to the new place ( hometown ,,,,but my profile jus took a 360 )...lol... Uncertainty sounds good... but for one time in my life I feel deep down within...my past is gonna keep my spirits up.!

Finding solace in jus a couple of words isn't convincing enough.... “ Technically not feasible” was the mantra at one point of time until I realized “ Nothing is impossible” & I picked it... got screwed.... but enjoyed every moment of that very technology that I'd have to live with at least for a quarter of my life.

And here is a human who at the age of 25 thought that there was just one definition for love bifurcating into millions of atoms just to find out love is pure.... nd its just not one.... it is like an entire new variation of the Rainbow.... VIBGYOR I'd learnt as a kid but I'd say with the rainbow of life that I'd decipher VIBGYOR would be just the primary colours... Mix em up & you'd get shades you haven't dreamed of ever..!!!

Me sounding lame already huh.?!.. As alwayz...the source for this piece of thing that one of my buddies would question as “ What were you stoning on?!”..is unknown...lol

A professional degree is essential...a preconceived notion... but I'd say your first experience with the pawns of the industry is what actually moulds your soul to face the rest of the globe & boy I've had one heck of soul searching in my present organization.... just too cool.. And the kind of support that your peers offer is unparalleled .

Getting a feel of the street smart world is sumthing I carved outta college but carrying it all thru till the end of this little epic that I had in “ God's Own Country”.. nd took me through all the north, the south, the very subcontinent the world addresses.

Today I can proudly say that I have the confidence to face even a top official in an organization & speak to him without the fear of me being just an insignificant pair of dice in a decider.!

Listen to what life has to offer, dream of tomorrow, live for today.... last for the next second...breathe now... enjoy history.. economics were for the presidents..geography was for dreamers & I lived today... looking for tomorrow & my journey streams on.!! Till next time...!!

CheerS!!

Ajay Padattil
28/05/2010

Screw em Up..!!

And yet another time... this title & the story behind this one was inspired. You don't have to guess dis one... Kovalam... beer...pubs...technical...import duties...lovely times....bengalluru...new years....my man in trivandrum & this globe is too small... an indica.... self ESTEEM...lovely idol of krishna adorning the very rooftop of this dudes house.... fashion trends...cinema...house music...trippiest of times ...& I can go on... this was my inspiration.

The title was a situation when you go out & out on something but sumthing strikes you very sorrily to stare in your face& tell you one thing....you were never a link in the chain!!

When you actually give something to an organization & u do expect it to give you sumthin in return for the first time in your life....a small thing... probably just the case of one damn day... and the organization says “ I have to think & will get back to you”...I feel lie the people I have been selling its ( pronounced “ The Organization's”) skill sets when I knew It was worth emeralds but I still could deliver Rubies.... but I dint bother with the rubies coz its my family I'm talking bout & representing here.

Today or shall I say “ Yesterday” woz the day I truly thought the saying “ No Organization Shut coz the resources quit” felt so close to my heart that I regret so much so that I have to bring out the stupid consultant in me to my organization as well. HELL!! Its best to keep personal away from business 4 damn sure..!!

Today just confirmed my worst fears of turning into a pawn in the system, when a job that I was given... put my 100% for the first time in my epic saga with this family & godmother just decided to turn the tables SAFELY!!.. Thought alwayz that there would've been a reason for this to happen.. But an entire 24 hrs couldn't convince me I was right about the reason part.

Never did wanna leave on a bad note.... and I shouldn't ...Coz I don't like the corporate part of me... coz that just isnt ME or US or WE...but I guess like Mr. Anil Kapoor says during the climax of the movie 'Nayak'.. 'Aakhir Aapne Mujhe Politician Ban Hi Diya na..?!'... True to the very last 'na'!

A journey that lasted sweet three years & I would dedicate the spirit of my living thru, these to my soulmates HAAAL, my sweethearts '12' & my 'Godmother'. Sweet Sweet experiences & stories & times... I'd cherish forever.!


Another quote that I alwayz pondered on was “ Criminals are never born, situations make them that”.. I never believed in this crap until today... just that my weapons would be denial and distrust. Revenge is never an answer to anything.

“ Screw em Up!!”.. I wish I could, would & should. But I guess when you are a famliy, you gotta forgive and forget... But again I aint GOD... nd none of us are. But me I'd say to myself... Let these times pass ,for we have the past with this ancestorial joy to live upon.!

Ajay Padattil
20/05/2010

Astounding..!!

Drawn apart by two swords distinct
Dim seems the light that lights the crystal

Laying off things that meant the world to humans
Laggin still seems the past for one tomorrow

Listenin to instances far & narrow
Lamenting on icebergs tippin off for heat

Degrees & counting claim lives of innocence
Diminishing families still cry these prayers

Amazing would be listing melodies
Astounding scream people in the 70's

Love life & grasp these moments
Live happy & gloat this very second.!

Ajay Padattil
14/04/2010

View This..!!

Listing things that most humans would look scornfully at i.e. hate, loyalty, weakness, caste, money, racism, discrimination, class, emotions, bluntness etc... Aint all of this stuff purely materialistic..?! If it isnt then its human to want more. If it is... then probably its close to “ Welcome aboard”.

When I do think bout stuff like racism or discrimination for that matter, its something which would relate closely to a belief which some people would call unreal & some others would call stupidity.

Forrest Gump once said “ Stupid is as stupid does”. I never did contemplate on that dialogue or never did I stop to wonder what he would've actually meant reciting dat piece of literature.

But tonight I do realize one thing.... that piece of literature was something which would tell the world “ The thing that you are is exactly the thing that you do”... or as they say in Shakespearean Language” As you sow so shall you reap”...to put it more bluntly, “ If you do stupid stuff you are stupid”...” if you do idiotic stuff ...you are an idiot”...”if you do logical stuff...you never are practical”...

Well I've run outta philosophy & words coz my dictionary is kinda exhausted & like a friend of mine said “ Gimme a copy of ur dictionary & I'd probably try to figure out half of wot u wanted to say..!! lol”.

My fault “ My pen isnt runnin outta ink”..My fault “ I try to stupify stuff”... Again this is the predecessor to the state of mind I would classify as “ blanatha” but I guess the whole thing is worth it.

The sun would shine tomorrow... The moon would still borrow.. If you & I live still in sorrow... Damn this burrow... Earth is narrow... I'd still Maro.?!

Ajay Padattil
27/03/2010

Beginning..!!

Beginning to believe the landships of earth
Beginning to feel the smartness of Aliens by heart

Beginning to think of life from a different perspective
Beginning to mend ways to start differently

Beginning to gaze at the blue skies & wish purity
Beginning to wonder when oxygen would be regenerated

Beginning to worry about the future first
Beginning to put the past behind few tunes

Beginning to treat things & prioritize
Beginning to wish life was a little fairer

All the above mentioned things are for angels
We still continue to live as the neighbour of the beast..!!

Ajay Padattil
16/03/2010

Peter Paul & MARY.. v miss ya.!!

I was walking down that path again
Which surely screamed no pain no gain

The whistle blows way away from here
A lemon tree so yellow its still satire

Blowing in the wind did shoot up lives
Puff the magic dragon sings one tonite

The Wedding Song did top the charts oh so well
When I die the world will cry & it did so swell

Leaving on a jet plane stirs ones symphony
I dig Rock n Roll plays different Adamantly

Started this out as lyrics for a melody
Couldn't stop myself from a tribute to her....Mary!!

Ajay Padattil
16/03/2010

Main Aur Meri Methyl Alcohol.!!

During my school days, in the chemistry lab I did hear of this element called ' Methyl Alcohol '. I used to wonder why this was called so when Alcohol was considered to be an evil substance. My curiosity was at its epitome when I learnt that this decomposes straight into something called 'ethyl alcohol' which at a later point in life would be known as THE SPIRIT.

Probably why people call it evil is because if consumed in large amounts this could prove fatal in many ways both to oneself & to the other souls too.The fatality caused to oneself could be summarized as one or more organs failing to function or to simply put it “ Screwed”. The fatality to other souls could come in many forms, the first being accidents.

The wind I've heard enhances the very essence of this substance called alcohol after consumption. The swaying of a human is bound to happen if consumed in smaller but large amounts leading to the state we call the “ Unknown”. In this state a human finds his home on a footpath or even places which would be unknown to him the following morning.

The good thing about this element is it is not biased i.e. gender no bar, caste no bar, religion no bar etc.... lol.

The other state of mind after consumption would culminate in violence ( I haven't understood the base of this emotion to date...lol ). When this emotion is triggered, a state of superiority complex & extreme power takes control of the human mind or so they say...lol. It causes people to behave in such an annoying manner coz they think they r supreme & the iceberg that titanic hit sounds like a spot on the moon.

The reactions in the morning would consist of amnesia, Blanatha & to some.... a sever headache ( feels the head is too damn heavy to carry).

This word “ Blanatha” was an addition to my dictionary very recently. It is defined as the slow feeling, lack of enthusiasm felt by a human body and mind in the morning after an overdose of “ Ethyl Alcohol “ during the previous night..lol

The headache state of affairs could be summed up as a HANGOVER which most define as situations varying from falling randomly asleep to a headache so huge that a shark bite would sound minuscule.

On an empty stomach, the SPIRIT seems to kick in more easily & results in the complete “ SWITCH OFF ” of a human body progressing into a world only that human can define at that particular point in time.

Some say, it also triggers music into the soul & mind. I've been there, done that & OH! Its true to the very last ”C”.

It does feel beautiful to speak to people you care about. A sense of truthfulness is ushered in without a doubt. Things & emotions are mixed so neatly that it just seems perfect.

A social gathering some might call certain nights when you can't enjoy your drink & end up prancing up and down with jus that drink to adorn your fingers. All sophisticated crap...lol.

Then there are times whe you decide a couple of em are good enough but end up sleeping the next day. At these times stuff that were never talked about previously crop in & a discussion happens ( this would put the UN conferences to shame..lol). Decisions made, journeys to go on, places to see & newer “ Glassmates” is what we refer to this in our countryside.

I would end this here coz of various reasons , the first one being “ Blanatha”.!

CheerS!!

Ajay Padattil
12/03/2010