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Friday, 28 May 2010

The Journey..!!

The transition phase could alwayz be tough for a human it from a kid to teens,to adolescence to adulthood ( haven't reached that far yet). Sumbody once said you are as young as you feel deep inside... Me alwayz used to ponder bout dat one... but never did get the answer to “ Why.?!”.

The toughest I would say is the time when you go from being a graduate or a PG'ite to a professional ...haven't worried bout it till usual uncertain bout it the future...but who wants to think.?!Live it for the next damn second... if you can...i.e.!!

Went to school, a typical nice sweet lil life... of course cheap thrills never left space for remorse...Straight from that very wheel of warp...ppl do feel “ Damn.! What am I goin to do wid it (life) this time?!

When you do enroll into college..the fear of “What it'd look like” is alwayz there... but I could proudly say one thing....till this date...College Rocked for bout 10years to be precise right this organization nd gonna miss it ( my partners in crime)..

The city truly never gave nethin back to me nor the professionalism in the Enterprise that I looked for did...but...the people...the emotions.... the kind of space & freedom & experiences & the relations& the insanity of the sanctity of work & the ethics of humanity & the absoluteness of being oneself & the pure emotion of equality & the bluntness & the openness & HUMANS.... would def give any other enterprise a run for its money..coz here, everything just works on the basis of trust, space, humanity & love for existence.

I'd say kudos to the human who put forth the idea “ It's not the place, but the people that make this earth worth living “...and to think that I'm gonna be throwing all this away in just bout a week and a half pinches me... coz me gotta accept the very fact that “ Padam isnt gonna be called Padam anymore”... more names but nothin would mean as much as “ Padam”... This is one of my assumptions which I'm sure for the first time in my life that I's gonna bloody feel like “ I hope sumbody would address me the same”... sumday.!!

But then again tonight, I console myself saying... ain't the world just a sphere flattened at the poles & boy I'm just an STD code I definitely am gonna miss the greenery for sure.

The Enterprise .... I wouldn't say never gave me that I was lookin for... or did actually give me exactly what I was lookin for... Probably a manufacturing defect... or I wasn't sure of what I was lookin for or even more than probably I was born

Ask me to plan something & I'd wash my hands clean of it coz frankly speakin I can go with the flow but creatin the flow isn't my piece of cake....hehehehe

Comin to being the professional, I guess the incident that outdid me was being stuck in one place for over a year for absolutely no reason whatsoever.

But as I'd heard sumplace... “ The show must go on!!”.. I wouldn't say “ I'm not scared but still excited” to go to the new place ( hometown ,,,,but my profile jus took a 360 ) Uncertainty sounds good... but for one time in my life I feel deep down past is gonna keep my spirits up.!

Finding solace in jus a couple of words isn't convincing enough.... “ Technically not feasible” was the mantra at one point of time until I realized “ Nothing is impossible” & I picked it... got screwed.... but enjoyed every moment of that very technology that I'd have to live with at least for a quarter of my life.

And here is a human who at the age of 25 thought that there was just one definition for love bifurcating into millions of atoms just to find out love is pure.... nd its just not one.... it is like an entire new variation of the Rainbow.... VIBGYOR I'd learnt as a kid but I'd say with the rainbow of life that I'd decipher VIBGYOR would be just the primary colours... Mix em up & you'd get shades you haven't dreamed of ever..!!!

Me sounding lame already huh.?!.. As alwayz...the source for this piece of thing that one of my buddies would question as “ What were you stoning on?!”

A professional degree is essential...a preconceived notion... but I'd say your first experience with the pawns of the industry is what actually moulds your soul to face the rest of the globe & boy I've had one heck of soul searching in my present organization.... just too cool.. And the kind of support that your peers offer is unparalleled .

Getting a feel of the street smart world is sumthing I carved outta college but carrying it all thru till the end of this little epic that I had in “ God's Own Country”.. nd took me through all the north, the south, the very subcontinent the world addresses.

Today I can proudly say that I have the confidence to face even a top official in an organization & speak to him without the fear of me being just an insignificant pair of dice in a decider.!

Listen to what life has to offer, dream of tomorrow, live for today.... last for the next second...breathe now... enjoy history.. economics were for the presidents..geography was for dreamers & I lived today... looking for tomorrow & my journey streams on.!! Till next time...!!


Ajay Padattil

Thursday, 20 May 2010

Screw em Up..!!

And yet another time... this title & the story behind this one was inspired. You don't have to guess dis one... Kovalam... beer...pubs...technical...import duties...lovely man in trivandrum & this globe is too small... an indica.... self ESTEEM...lovely idol of krishna adorning the very rooftop of this dudes house.... fashion music...trippiest of times ...& I can go on... this was my inspiration.

The title was a situation when you go out & out on something but sumthing strikes you very sorrily to stare in your face& tell you one were never a link in the chain!!

When you actually give something to an organization & u do expect it to give you sumthin in return for the first time in your life....a small thing... probably just the case of one damn day... and the organization says “ I have to think & will get back to you”...I feel lie the people I have been selling its ( pronounced “ The Organization's”) skill sets when I knew It was worth emeralds but I still could deliver Rubies.... but I dint bother with the rubies coz its my family I'm talking bout & representing here.

Today or shall I say “ Yesterday” woz the day I truly thought the saying “ No Organization Shut coz the resources quit” felt so close to my heart that I regret so much so that I have to bring out the stupid consultant in me to my organization as well. HELL!! Its best to keep personal away from business 4 damn sure..!!

Today just confirmed my worst fears of turning into a pawn in the system, when a job that I was given... put my 100% for the first time in my epic saga with this family & godmother just decided to turn the tables SAFELY!!.. Thought alwayz that there would've been a reason for this to happen.. But an entire 24 hrs couldn't convince me I was right about the reason part.

Never did wanna leave on a bad note.... and I shouldn't ...Coz I don't like the corporate part of me... coz that just isnt ME or US or WE...but I guess like Mr. Anil Kapoor says during the climax of the movie 'Nayak'.. 'Aakhir Aapne Mujhe Politician Ban Hi Diya na..?!'... True to the very last 'na'!

A journey that lasted sweet three years & I would dedicate the spirit of my living thru, these to my soulmates HAAAL, my sweethearts '12' & my 'Godmother'. Sweet Sweet experiences & stories & times... I'd cherish forever.!

Another quote that I alwayz pondered on was “ Criminals are never born, situations make them that”.. I never believed in this crap until today... just that my weapons would be denial and distrust. Revenge is never an answer to anything.

“ Screw em Up!!”.. I wish I could, would & should. But I guess when you are a famliy, you gotta forgive and forget... But again I aint GOD... nd none of us are. But me I'd say to myself... Let these times pass ,for we have the past with this ancestorial joy to live upon.!

Ajay Padattil